I've been making the biggest mystakes by lying to the most important person in my entire life. I lied to her about a few various things and I feel the worst I've ever felt in my entire life. Amander is my sun, moon, and star lit sky. To fill anyone in about my relationship with Amanda, we've been together for 1 year, 25 days, 11 hours, and 2 minutes...but who's counting? I feel like the worst boyfriend in the world...I lie to her, I get jealous over the stupidest things, I don't tell her enough that she's beautiful, or that she smells pretty. But I tell her all the time that I love her, I carry her across the snow so she doesn't get her feet wet, I sing to her all the time, I give her back rubs when she's feeling alot of stress, I've never cheated on her or even thought of it. I feel like I've only been doing the worst for her lately by all those things first listed. I need to be a better person. When I'm with her, I'm on top of the world. There's nothing that could get me down when I'm with her. She lifts me up so high in the lowest and darkest times. But now, in this lowest and darkest time, all I can think about is her and the horrible things I've been putting her through. She's the only one who can actually help me to get out of the darkness now and I can't reach her. I'm lost in this...this...BLACKNESS.